Sunday visit

Hi All,

Both your parents seemed in good spirits when we got there and even as we left, we talked about general stuff, the past 2 weeks of Dr's. appts., Joe's soccer teams, my family a bit, my aunt Pam who had a breast removed due to breast cancer and part of her lower left lung due to cancer and now has gone into her right lung (not sure what is going on there still), they brought up some friends that they have recently conversed with regarding their own experiences with cancer/radiation/chemo etc... your dads voice sounds abit more horse ( ? spelling) and I guess the fact that he wasn't holding down much food. We bought some Sweet N Low that your mom requested (she mentioned that your dad only drinks about half the cup of coffee and then she ends up tossing out the rest)... I made some cookies and brought those as well, a little comfort food even if he can't eat much I thought it might be nice for them both!
Your dad mentioned that his legs feel very heavy and hard to move around... and that in the morning it is hard to get going, but once he is shaved and showered he feels better...
He mentioned that he has been walking around the grounds abit.... and that all seems like it is good for him....He dozed off a few times towards the end of our visit, but said as we were leaving he was going to watch a bit of TV with your mom....

One scary thing/sad thing, not sure how to look at it... was that your dad brought up the possibility of not doing any radiation/treatments cause he was saying what if it's not worth going through... if I'm going to die anyway... (sorry... crying right now) John basically looked at him straight in the eyes and said "Dad", " you have to do this part if not for you for mom!"

John said at least start these radiation treatments and see how it all goes, let's take this day to day and see how it goes for you and for mom and make adjustments/decisions as they have to be made"

I know (or feel) that in your dads mind right now he is just definitely not sure what to think or do and feels possibly that this is all for nothing but I think it is good for him to look at it as that this is not just for him...
I thought it kinda made your dad buck up a bit and he seemed to agree with John....

Anyway, when we left, as I said, they seemed ok, and I think were looking forward to the appt. today...(insert today- John told me the news about possibly 1-3 months and I am just so sad!)( I agree in the not telling your parents (right now?) of the time frame as I too agree in keeping their spirits as high as possible- and doing the Summers End BBQ is a good start on getting together possibly weekly?)(John/we also told Johnnie and Taylor yesterday due to Johnnie wanting to leave to school this weekend and thought they needed to know now... both Johnnie and Taylor have been told not to say anything to any cousins unless told otherwise and know the little cousins are not to know at all that that is being left to their own parents to tell)

(Sorry... crying again).... You all (and I ) have been so blessed to have a father like you have (and mother) and I know that what I feel for your dad is in no comparison in what all of you feel... I just keep praying that whatever plans God has for your dad on when he wants to take him up to heaven that your dad never suffers to much however long he has...

Your dad in his 5'7 stature has always seemed like such a bigger man to me cause of who he is, has been and will always be to me and I know all of you! He is a man of strength, character, charisma, charm, respect, adventure, and love ( You know the Sean Connery type ) (as i smile) and I can't tell you in words how blessed I am to have him in my life! (as well as my husband, your mom and All of you!

I hope I have not or do not overstep any boundaries in what I say or do in regards to all that is going on, but whatever I do, it is cause I love your dad and mom and all of you! So, please let me know how to help and what to do if you need to!
This road we are all traveling on right now is going to be a long one and sometimes seem never ending... I hope we can all travel together and help each other along the way!God please guide us all through this journey and give us all strength, courage and comfort for the days ahead, Amen...

LOVE YOU ALL!
RONDA