Saturday, October 31, 2009

Hi all,

I spent last Wed with mom and dad and stopped by again yesterday after a sister lunch.

Dad looks amazingly good, but is sleeping more and more. Whatever pain he has can be handled by Tylenol, so that's good. He is also "feeling the cold". He is quite often to be found bundled up in 2 or 3 sweatshirts and a blanket. Mom also got out a wool sweater that Dad's sister May knitted for him years ago.

Mom is doing okay. Dad looks so good that she is having a hard time believing that he is as sick as he is.

Love to all and thanks for your good wishes and prayers,

xoxoxo

Anne

p.s. For those on skype, my username is anneyenny and Pat's is patricialeighton.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Hi everyone.

There are some new pictures added to the album for Pat's 50th BD thanks to Maureen and Theresa has donated a few to Lane's baptism.

Pat and I spent all day yesterday at mom and dad's getting them set up with the hospice nurse and doctor.

At one point the nurse asked about :

depression

anxiety

moodiness

I answered "yes" to all before I realized she was actually inquiring about dad's status and not mine. Dad answered no, so no shock he is doing better than me.

While it can't be described as a good day, I think Pat and I walked away feeling that mom and dad are in the hands of very experienced and caring individuals. They reiterated over and over that dad should eat whatever he wants as this is no time to be worried about high sodium or high cholesteral; he was even encouraged to have a couple of beers. Pat, however, insisted he not salt his bacon like he did when we were kids.

The doc also encouraged him to get out and about and do whatever he wants and feels capable of. Dad has definitely slowed down and is unsteady but is okay when using his walker.

We left him with a fish and chip dinner and a Budweiser.

Anne

Treatment Update

Good morning all.

I had a good conversation with Mom on the phone last night. She and dad, along with Pat and Theresa, went to see the oncologist yesterday.

Dad and mom have decided for forgo chemotherapy and all other treatments. After much discussion, they decided that the (possible) benefits were not worth the side effects.

The doctor recommended that they contact hospice. We all think that dad doesn't need hospice yet but there is no harm in getting the ball rolling in anticipation of when he does need it.

All of us agree that dad has noticeably slowed down just since Saturday. That having been said, Pat, Theresa and I were all at the house at one point on Tuesday and he had us laughing several times. He describes his legs as "heavy" and is very unsteady. While he was out of the room we all moved some furniture around to make it easier for him to use his walker inside.

Before I left he noticed the coffee table tucked out of the way and asked me to help mom move it back where it belongs. I explained why we moved it and he was NOT amused. Knowing him and mom, he had mom move it back to its original spot after I left.

xoxoxo

Anne

Pat's 50th BD

More pictures to come, but this is the best of the day. Except, of course, of pictures of Joe, Julie and/or their kids. Please, anyone, if there is a bad pic of that branch of the Flanagans please forward because I've never seen one.

Since it seems I am taking the lion's share of the pics these days and there are no pics of me, please know I was having a good hair day. And concerned relatives will be happy to hear my shoes remained on. (I made the unfortunate mistake of mentioning in an email that I threw my shoe at Jonathon just before the last party. Those who know me well will not be surprised - and those who know Jonathon well will find it appropriate - those who do not see me often were under the impression this type of behavior was unusual for me.)

A few surprises for Pat with some old friends we invited but I'm sure the biggest surprise was that she had to host her own party. Mike did a wonderful job arranging for us all to be fed. And if I do say so myself, the basil dipping sauce was once again a hit. (someone, anyone, tell my mother-in-law that the last batch wasn't a fluke)

Mark was unfortunately under the weather in the a.m. but rallied by party time. I do believe we Flanagans are having a positive influence on priorities. Everyone was happy to see Maureen and Mark; my mom has called me twice today to email her to thank them for making the journey.

We tried desperately to keep conversations away from all-health-issues-all-the-time but Suzie Kane and I did spend a grim hour comparing dental nightmares of the past year.

Jonathon was of course missed but it was good to have Alix join us. And John Samuel surprised all and delighted some by showing up with a hair cut.

I ended up using Maureen's camera for much of the night. I will get those pictures posted once I talk Maureen through the uploading process.

xoxoxo

Anne

Oncolgy Appt.

Hi Everyone,
We had the meeting with Dad’s oncologist this morning. She laid out Dad’s options as:

- Chemo once per week for 3 weeks, and then 1 week off, and then repeating indefinitely. She explained that Dad would be in charge, and could stop any time he wanted. This will involve some meds prior to the treatment, along with the appointment once per week, which would end up being about 1 ½ hours all inclusive of taking blood, and the chemo treatment itself. This will be a less aggressive chemo approach, given Dad’s age and prognosis. The doctor also explained that this might give him an extra couple of months, and can be easily tolerated by some. She said that day three of each treatment tends to be the worst, if he does have side effects. The side effects she mentioned are: possible hair loss, nausea, feeling tired, risk of infection….They will, as they always do, take his blood regularly, and watch the white cell count.

- A Pill taken once per week, but they don’t find this very effective, especially with patients that smoked in the past.

- Doing nothing, and living out his life without further treatment.

She also explained Hospice. We all agreed that Dad was not in need of that at present, and she repeated several times that he looked well, which for those who haven’t seen him lately, he does. Hospice is considered “end of life” care, where they make you as comfortable as possible. Once a part of Hospice, you are not longer seeking any treatment like chemo, etc, and you would not call 911 any event having to do with the cancer.
There is also something called palliative care. This seems to be an in between. You can be on palliative care and still be seeing your doctor, receiving chemo treatments, etc. They would work like Hospice as far as providing needed equipment; help with obtaining your medications, etc. Again, none of us present felt the need to start this type of care at this time. This, along with Hospice, can start any time we feel it necessary.

At this point, Dad has elected to try chemo and see how it goes. I am sure he will stop, if he feels any harsh side effects. (He asked us all to vote on the chemo! Like we would actually over rule his wishes!) His doctor stated that the soonest the chemo treatments would start would be at the end of next week, or the following week, starting with an info session first. Mom and Dad will receive a phone call setting the appointments up, so we will keep you posted on that.

All in all, Mom and Dad seemed to take all the news ok. He isn’t experiencing any new side effects of the cancer at this time. (His legs still feel heavy, and he feels this effect the worst in the am, and has a pain that comes and goes in his chest & back around the lung area.) We talked about making sure to make the most of their time, and not just focus on the next treatment, or doctor’s appointment, etc. As you all know, Dad isn’t much of a talker, so he didn’t speak on anything more specific. As I think I have posted in the past, he isn’t someone with any unfinished business to take care of. We will all just try to help him spend what time he has left in whatever manner he wishes. Whether that is watching soccer on TV, sitting outside on their patio area reading a book, going for a run down to the esplanade, etc…..

Hope you all are well
Pat

October 4, 2009

Lane's baptism was wonderful. Lane wore the baptism dress that Dock (Julie's mother) bought for Cas; we were all relieved it fit. Hard to believe anyone was ever worried about Lane not gaining enough weight.

The priest was surprised to see such a crowd. I believe he said to Joe and Julie: I was expecting just the family.

Little did he know we were one family short; the Leightons were in Berkeley watching USC beat Cal at football (and also visiting Alix and Mark and Maureen while they were in the neighborhood).

The baptism was held in a little chapel behind what used to be the convent (heaven only knows what they use it for now. It's been a long time since I saw a nun at St Lawrence.) Lane, being ambulatory, did try to escape but fortunately what she mistook for a door was a window and she found herself trapped. More than one teenager noted how appropriate that was.

The priest did a lovely homily about "choices" which involved all the kids being honest and saying that they wouldn't, in fact, go to school if they were given the choice. And the priest telling them how fortunate they were to have parents that "chose" school and baptism for them. A more clever writer than me would be able to tie-in the above "trapped" comment at this point.

Jonathon was in full uniform as Godfather and I (as Godmother) tried to not be mistaken for a grandmother.

We celebrated afterwards at John and Ronda's (thanks guys!). As always, it was great place to celebrate. It now takes two bar-b-ques to feed us all.

Dad was quiet and seemed tired. Probably the cumulative effects of the radiation treatment. Betty Yenny was also there; anyone who wants to hear the story of her disbelief at how good my dipping sauce was (with home grown basil!) needs to call me. For those who have heard it: how DO you grow salsa???

I have posted a few pics to the right. I will add to the album as I get Ronda, Theresa and Julie's contributions.

xoxoxo

Anne